Colon the Barbarian

Mars versus Venus

The Reluctant Gardener — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:32:10 +0000

I’m trying to persuade one of my friends to apply for a job that she thinks is out of her league. Admittedly it would be a big step up, but why shouldn’t she apply and let the recruitment team decide if she’s got what it takes? And there lies the (well, one) difference between men and women: women see a job vacancy and think they they have to tick all the boxes; men will take a chance and just go for it. It’s daft really. As someone who has written vacancy notices I know it’s really a wish list. If a candidate already possesses all those skills, they’re probably already in the role and would only be moving sideways. A good recruiter looks for potential, someone who can grow into the job. So what do you do if you don’t think you satisfy all the vacancy requirements? You can’t lie in your CV, but you can state your case in your cover letter. Show how the job would be the next logical step in your career progression. You may not have the direct experience asked for – don’t forget it’s usually a wish list unless it explicitly states otherwise - but you may be able to give examples of how you have demonstrated your aptitude in another way. Ultimately, what have you got to lose by going for it?

New Beginnings

The Reluctant Gardener — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:26:59 +0000

I have relaunched my website. Instead of hiding behind company names – PT Proofreading Services and PT Virtual Assistant – I’m now known as Paula Thomas: Photo Gallery and Editorial Services. We’re branching out into photography as well so the website looks a whole lot more interesting than it did!

Market Research Surveys

The Reluctant Gardener — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 14:40:21 +0000

I’m sure, in fact I know, I’m not the only person who has seen those Internet adverts: “I got up this morning, filled in a ten minute questionnaire at my PC and made £10. And I was still in my pyjamas!” Too good to be true? Of course. I signed up to a few of the market research panels, mainly because I was curious, like being asked my opinion and thought I may make a few bob from it. Initially, I was getting samples through the door as well so I got some free, ‘cutting edge’ shampoos and conditioners to comment on, but your novelty to the market research companies soon wears off. After two years and nine months I have finally unsubscribed from my last panel. In that time I have made the princely sum of £108.64 in cash/vouchers.(For how many hours ‘work’?) This excludes the NFO gift voucher that was no longer valid which I didn’t actually try to use myself. I gave it to my other half to spend in Haldfords. Oops! It also excludes the 3618 points I’ve so far accumulated in my Nectar account with the intention of buying a Debenhams’ voucher. Unfortunately, Debenhams have since opted out of the scheme so I’m a little stuck as to what to spend this grand sum on. It also excludes the 54 MediaTransfer points that I gave up as I couldn’t face the thought of doing another X amount of surveys to reach the magic 100 points.

So in conclusion, sign up to these panels if you like surfing the Internet and enjoy giving your opinion on all matters of subjects. Don’t bother if you want to make a fortune!

Testing Times

The Reluctant Gardener — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:15:25 +0000

It was November when I finished my last correspondence course so I’m now in the mood to embark on another. I decided to try a few of the career assessment tests first to see what direction I should explore next. I’m a bit of an old hand at these things; I was given my first ‘cascade’ test by the careers’ advice department when I was in the sixth form at school and I think I’ve been asked to fill one out on every managerial course I’ve been on since.

The first one I tried was the MAPP assessment on the Quest Careers Service website (www.questcareer.com). At first glance the free version of the report appears to contain an impressive amount of personalised information. For each ‘Worker Trait Code’ it has a section of blurb followed by dashes “to represent the content available about you in our more comprehensive career packages”. It listed my Top 11-20 Career Areas, which very much looked to me like they were hedging their bets:

11 Supervisory and instructive: teach/manage service classes

12 Decorating and Art Work: design, arrange, consult

13 Journalism and Editorial: write, edit, publish news

14 Scientific Research: probe, analyze, experiment

15 Engineering, Scientific, Technical Coordination

16 Customer Services: clerical, duplicating, sending

17 Title and Contracts: find, examine, confirm

18 Interview/Inform: gather, dispense information

19 High School, College, University; teach/counsel

20 Information Processing: gather, verify, send, file

If I wanted to know my Top 10 I would have to invest in one of their packages. When I actually sat down and read the report though, it had a lot of contradictory statements and it felt like I was reading one of those dodgy horoscopes. Needless to say, I felt no compulsion to spend $19.95 on the Narrative Special, let alone $129.95 on the Executive Package.

The second one I tried was Career Colleges (www.careercolleges.com ). This report at least was succinct and to the point:

Congratulations!
Your career assessment test has revealed that you are best suited for a career in Criminal Justice. Our career assessment test shows you have a fine attention to detail and a knack for logical, analytical thinking. As Aristotle said, “Law is reason, free from passion.” We know you will be successful when you pursue a career in Criminal Justice.

Criminal Justice is a career in great demand today, especially with the world situation as it is.Now that you have been pre-determined to have an interest in Criminal Justice, we are here to help.

Although I am addicted to practically every police / detective show on TV, I’m afraid I know far too many lawyers to take this one any further. And I’m very squeamish.

The third one was administered by Free Career Test (www.free-career-test.com ). This first lists your Basic Interest Profile which is broken down into Occupational Interests and Work Styles. It also lists Your Lowest Interest Scores. I was quite sceptical at this point as my lowest score was for Industrial Art (enjoys making things by machine or by hand) and I enjoy knitting etc. However, apart from that I thought it was quite accurate.

The report then goes on to show your personal Workplace Fit Graph (based on Holland’s Theory). Again, I thought that it was quite good.

The report finishes by suggesting you review your personal values and knowledge, skills and abilities. You are then given the opportunity to invest in the Premium ($24.95) or Deluxe ($39.95) Report, with a taster of what your fifth Highest Job Category is. For some reason, on the Premium Report my fifth Highest Job Category was Architectural, Technology, Drafting and Design whilst on the Deluxe Report it was Atmospheric and Space Scientists. Hmm!

The fourth test was on the My Plan site (www.myplan.com ). This doesn’t ask questions as such but asks you to prioritise cards which it then uses to rank your six core work values. I wasn’t sure about this one at all as my priority was working from home which basically overrode all my other answers. As a result it conflicted with the other reports. The career suggestions amused me though, as they will anyone who knows me …

Merchandise Displayers & Window Trimmers

Singers

Floral Designers

Public Address System & Other Announcers

Tailors, Dressmakers & Custom Sewers

Furniture Finishers

The final test I tried was totally off the wall. It can be found on the ColorWize site (www.colorwize.com) and basically it flashes up two circles of different colours and you have to say which one you prefer, 65 times. (Or was it 67? Whatever.)

My Top 10 career choices (of 298!) that matched my colour signature, were:

1. FRENCH LANGUAGE

2. ENGLISH EDUCATION

3. ENGLISH LANGUAGE

4. JOURNALISM

5. SPANISH LANGUAGE

6. MEDICINE

7. SOCIAL STUDIES / SOCIAL SCIENCES EDUCATION

8. SOCIOLOGY – The study of human social behavior.

9. FOREIGN LANGUAGES EDUCATION

10. OPTOMETRY (pre-optometry) – One who is trained and licensed to examine the eyes for visual defects.

Probably no better or worse than any of the other more ‘scientific’ tests I undertook.

In summary I thought the Free Career Test was the best, but would I fork out the cash for the full report? Probably not.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

The Reluctant Gardener — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:10:22 +0000

There is an e-mail doing the rounds of Japanese signs which have been amusingly translated into English such as ‘Help Oneself Terminating Machine’ across an ATM. There are currently several ‘engrish’ sites that sprung up following the coverage given to ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’ (look it up in Wickipedia for a full explanation).

I’d like to think that all the websites were written with the same affection for the Japanese as the webmaster of www.engrish.com has, but I couldn’t vouch for that so we have to be careful that the sites don’t become vehicles for expressing or reinforcing prejudices. What I can say, is that their English – misspelt or not – is infinitely better than my Japanese.

Despite the above, the amount of English editorial work being outsourced offshore in an easterly direction is steadily growing. Using the quality of the copy on their websites as a general indication of the quality of their work, some companies undoubtedly deliver good, professional material at lower costs. Other sites, however, seem stilted in comparison but they probably still get work as they’re cheap, or am I being cynical? In the long term, it will be interesting to observe what effect this has on the English language.

Introduction

The Reluctant Gardener — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:49:15 +0000

This is the first entry for an occasional blog dedicated to the wonderful English language, and the joys of home working. Yes. It is a bit random.